Monthly Archives: September 2013

The Ignorant Iguana


Its orange head seems to stand out
Stiff and positively green in the grass
Like the dragon it may be, erect and proud
Clipped wings, slightly lazy

Never noticing:

Big block numerals that grip horrified eyes
As students hurry past, scrambling for time
Is it too late to think that life was all full of lies?
Or is slacking really such a serious crime?

Never hearing:

The consistent clicking of Pilot pens
The persistent scratching as pages of essays are drawled out, scrawled
The insistence of the flabbergasted teachers to be written on lined paper that always seems to run out
The essence that should be Time

Never feeling:

The trepidation of ultimately facing their papered future
The anticipation of dresses, stars and prom night
The small nation of a class finally in harmony
The reluctance… of leaving it all.

Never understanding:

The way of human life
The way of forks and knives
The way of just living
The way of finding where your purpose truly lies.



The Greatest Treasure


What is the greatest treasure
You seek beyond the stars
Despite the unstable future
You bravely charge forwards

Worth an entire universe;
“To obtain a treasure, you must give something up!”
Is that sentence an empty curse?
Or an inevitable decision in the future?

Cloaked in the blood red of passion
You tore enslavement from the pursued blue
Changed the thieving yellow’s decision
Took in the grinning weakling of a greenhorn
Willingly accepted the lost pink’s mission
And adopted a strange silver

What indeed is it worth?
The secret weight of a king
Or equivalent to a new world’s birth
But maybe you should look within

Look to your left; look to your right
Hidden right beneath your very eyes
Are the treasures you so determinedly search
Concealed in their hearts
They are always at your side

Nothing can be more marvelous than
The unlikely bond between the pirates of space
Though this went unplanned:
Arrogance– it’s still their aftertaste

This Simple Love Of Ours


Author’s Note: Another attempt at writing romance. This oneshot is based on C~ute’s song “Bagel ni Ham and Cheese”

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEANNE!!! Yeps, this is specially for Leanne (and because she needed cheering up) SO YEAH. This is my first guyxguy romance fic so I hope it’s okay… I don’t own the characters. (Ohmygod please don’t judge me ;____;) I apologise for being so late!! OTL

Leanne: OHMYGOSH HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY!!! HIHI YOU ARE 17 NOW UNTIL NEXT YEAR and because you’ll never be 17 AGAIN~ have a great day, and don’t worry about anything today! Enjoy your day; enjoy your life! We’ll see each other soon so HAVE AN AWESOME BIRTHDAY OKAY. Just don’t party too crazy. HAHAHAHA. Be happy alwayssss!
Lots of love, Paean:)

(i might actually edit this later)

This Simple Love Of Ours

Kodama yawned as his eyes fluttered open. He winced at the blinding morning light filtering through the window and tried to drag himself out of bed. He felt a heavy pressure on his chest, weighing him down on the bed. Grinning to himself, he turned to see Rutta lying face-down on the bed, his muscular arms spread-eagled and draped over Kodama’s chest.

“Rutta…” Kodama called, pushing Rutta’s arm aside. “Rutta, it’s morning already…”

Rutta just snorted and pulled the blanket over him. “‘ive ‘ore ‘inutes…” he slurred sleepily. Kodama could only sigh in response as he got to his feet and left the room. Despite being twenty-one, Rutta still behaved like a twelve year old.

But I guess, that’s why I fell in love with him in the first place, Kodama laughed softly to himself. He smiled as something brushed between his legs and mewled. He scooped Shimako, an orange and black-striped cat that Rutta adopted when they were still schooling at the dormitory.

The memory of Rutta bringing the cat back to their dorm room, thoroughly drenched from the downpour, was still clearly embedded in his mind. It was hilarious: who would have thought that Ruizaki Takao, the school’s notorious delinquent, would adopt a cat in the rain? It was so cliche that Kodama burst out laughing at the sight of it– the image of a punk boy adopting an abandoned kitten on a rainy day was a popular trope in Japanese manga.

After feeding the cat, he began to brew some tea and dug out their supply of bagels. Finally, he heard heavy footsteps tromping on the stairs, and he knew Rutta had woken up.

Sure enough, a sleepy Rutta came into view, blinking drowsily around him. He shot Kodama a lopsided grin. “Morning, Kodama.” A meow came from the ground. Rutta chuckled as he squatted next to Shimako and stroked his fur, making the cat purr in pleasure. “Morning to you too, Shimako!”

“Oi, Rutta!” Kodama said, as he tucked pieces of ham and cheese into a bagel. “Wash your hands! Breakfast is ready!”

“Okay, okay,” Rutta pouted teasingly, walking towards the kitchen sink and pecking Kodama on the cheek on the way. Kodama blushed.


Kodama watched as Rutta bit into the bagel. He looks so happy when he eats, Kodama smiled. How many times have they done this? Ever since their graduation and got their own house, their life had become rather simple and ordinary. In the morning, Kodama would wake Rutta up, settle breakfast and then, both of them would set off for work. Their life seemed so perfect.

He remembered the days when their relationship had to be kept a secret from everyone. Their freedom had been restricted to their dormitory room and it was stifling.

He remembered how afraid he was when their graduation approached. Would Rutta choose to stay with him, or leave to pursue his career as a gym teacher? Those days were riddled with nightmares where he would be left all alone in the darkness, left to fend for himself; and when he woke up, he would wonder if the nightmare would really come true.

Rutta changed it all. After Kodama had confessed his fear to him, Rutta had promised him that they would be together, no matter what. And that promise fueled Kodama’s determination to perform well in the examinations– attending career seminars and studying till late at night. When the graduation was finally over, the two of them had quickly found an apartment that was near their workplaces.


Kodama snapped out of his reverie and reeled back when he realised Rutta was in his face. He shrieked and fell off his chair.

“Kodama!” Rutta was at his side at an instant. “Oi, are you okay?”

The raven-haired boy flushed, embarrassed, as he stood up. “I’m fine, Rutta,” he muttered. “Don’t be so worked up over it, sheesh.” Gosh, what was he anyway? Bella Swan? He wasn’t that fragile.

“You kinda zoned out there for a moment…but anyway, isn’t it already seven-fifty?”

OH MY GOD. Kodama sprang into panic mode. He zoomed into the room, tore off his blue-striped pyjamas, replacing it with a dark blue suit, tie and pants, and dashed back to the living room to grab his work-bag– all these while Rutta casually sipped his tea.

He needn’t go to the bank that early, but because the boss wanted to carry out a briefing regarding some promotion (which he didn’t really care about to be honest), he had to be at the place by eight-thirty. He wanted to stay longer; he wanted to enjoy the sight of Rutta’s happy face… but duty called.

“I’m leaving!” Kodama called out as he pulled on his shoes. He turned to leave, but he felt something moist on his lips…something familiar….and suddenly, the figure of Rutta appeared in front of him and kissed him on the lips. He blushed.

Rutta pulled back. “Enjoy your day,” he said softly.

Kodama nodded, smiling.  “See you when I get back.”

As he ran onto the streets, past the familiar shops and houses, he couldn’t help but feel so… light. That simple gesture had moved his heart so much; he just felt so happy. It was like… it was like… No, that feeling of happiness was indescribable.

He was just so happy.



Rutta stood at the door, his fists clenched in frustration. He put his hand into his pocket and fingered the box that impatiently waited to be given– and not tucked away.

He actually wanted to give it to Kodama when he woke up, but drowsiness claimed him first. He face-palmed himself. Why am I such an idiot?! 

Then again, Kodama had rushed out for work, and he sighed again. Both of them were just so busy with work lately; they couldn’t even have time together. Oh well, that’s just the way it is.

Speaking of work… He glanced at the clock. It was almost time for him to set off too. He heaved another heavy sigh and got dressed promptly. “I’m off,” he quietly whispered to nobody in particular.


“So did you give it to him?”

He knew it. Darn, why was his colleague so nosy?? Haruto sat across him in the staff room, marking scripts, and didn’t bother to look up. “You didn’t, did you?”

Was he psychic or something? “I forgot,” Rutta mumbled sheepishly. “I got caught up.”

“With what?” Images of Kodama glancing at him dreamily instinctively fluttered through his mind and he had to hastily change the subject.

“What’s it to you anyway?” Rutta narrowed his eyes. “You’re not the one in a relationship.”

“Ah well, I can’t help but be curious,” Haruto shrugged. “Health Education teacher, remember? I’m very inquisitive about certain romantic issues.” Rutta wanted to punch him, as the bell chimed three times. Haruto stood up. “Gotta go for class. Update me later.”

Rutta groaned as he lay back in his chair. This was so utterly pointless. Gym ended like two hours ago, and now he was stuck with nothing to do for three more hours. Maybe he should reconsider being a gym teacher, then maybe they’d have more time for each other…but Kodama had his job.

If only they could have a break from work together, Rutta would actually have liked to go on a vacation to somewhere romantic like Maldives and France. Yeah, France would be good. Renowned as the “City of Love” and a well-known food paradise, they would enjoy the scenery and the refreshing atmosphere. Oh, and probably eat at different places and try out the various dishes.

If only….

His hand once again fingered the mysterious box in his pocket that he had unconsciously transferred over from his pyjamas.

It nestled there…waiting.

It was late at night when Kodama finally got back home, probably around 11 or something. His mind was riddled with numbers and dollars and cents that he all he really wanted was to just snuggle into the bed and sleep. Thank goodness it was Friday and he could sleep in tomorrow.

He was so tired, he almost missed Rutta, who was on the couch, snoring lightly away. Oh, isn’t he adorable? He grinned as he shook him awake. “Rutta, I’m home,” he whispered.

Rutta slowly awakened, his eyelids drooping slightly, and when he realised it was Kodama, his eyes sprang wide open immediately.

“Kodama!” He fumbled blearily about. “I was just about to call you…but I guess I slept. I need to tell you something… uh, hold on.”

Kodama only caught on to some of his words. “How about tomorrow?” he yawned. “I really just want to sleep right now.”

“No, wait, you don’t understand-“

“Rutta-” He heard his boyfriend cursing behind him until he heard a “FINALLY!” and he turned. Rutta was holding a box..towards him?

“Kodama, don’t you remember what day it is?” Rutta smiled as he held Kodama’s hand. Day? What day? He was confused, but Rutta didn’t answer. Instead he kneeled on the ground.

Oh my god no.

“Kodama-” He opened the small velvet black box.

“-two years and three months ago, we met on this very day..” A ring. It was a ring. Kodama’s breath hitched.

“…I know sometimes we cry, sometimes we fight and sometimes we misunderstand each other…” Rutta’s voice echoed in his head. “But these are all because of love.”

“Let’s trust each other forever. Be honest, and talk to each other, and even if there are secrets between us, I swear I won’t be suspicious. Because, however old we may be, we will alwaysalways, be together in our hearts, minds and spirit.”

“I love you, Kodama. And I swear to love you every single day,” Rutta’s face suddenly started to blur, but he couldn’t miss the final words. Rutta took a deep, courageous breath.

“Marry me.”

There wasn’t a need for an answer, as the night started to bloom in passion.



She watch the trees blur past
Green and brown melt together
As she presses her forehead against the glass
Thoughts swirl to gather
In her mind, where imagination is added
And a story unfolds within the pages
Of her imagination

She thinks, and ponders
As a large feline with muscled flesh
Took shape with brutally sharp talons
Burst forth from the liquefied glass in a flash
Solidifying as soon as it flipped onto the road
Growling and snarling with large fangs

What if? she muses to herself
There were people who were able to reflect their fear
Onto reflective surfaces
Like glass, water; even a single drop of tear
Where it would materialise within their faces
Their fear would become their strength
Which makes everyone so powerful
All because as humans, regardless
They have the ability, mind you
To mould their power through their weakness

Maybe…she muses quietly
Someday it will be

The Big Four


Today was a beautiful day.

It was one of those days where I rebelled against my mum…and went off to my primary school without telling her. (But I did tell my dad though! ><)

The cab ride was nostalgic. I was with Faith, Alina and Lenalee, and we were recalling the different memories that happened to us. Nostalgia hit when the cab passed by several landmarks: Holland Road, Sixth Avenue and Nanyang Girls’ High.

I remember when I sat on the morning bus to school, turning left, past Holland Road and making our way down a slope at 6th Avenue. The cab ride felt different though; mainly because there was a traffic jam that snaked all the way up and down, which was caused by a fallen tree branch.

My heart tapped dance when the familiar structure of the clock tower of Nanyang Girls’ High came up. We were so close, five minutes away from my primary school. And when we reached, I felt I was home.

Allen told me Mr Tan Siew Whatt left on the phone. I  went: “What?!” He was our form teacher; my Science, Mathematics and Art teacher. He was the one whom I admired, and the one that made us all fall in love with Science. He ignited my passion for Science and Math, and the only reason why I got As for both subject was because of him. He motivated us, he guided us. We made a friend in this sotong-looking teacher of ours. Class 6J loved him for that.

But now he was gone…and I don’t think I’ll be going back to RGPS. He was the anchor because he was the last teacher left in RGPS that really mattered to me. With his absence, something about the school feels…empty.

A small group of us were reunited: Samantha, Lenalee, Allen, Kanda and me. Five of us. Five of us of the last batch of Class 6J. I guess that’s what made our bond so powerful: because we would never truly have juniors. We were the last. It’s quite sad actually.

Sam left after awhile for tuition. Then Allen, Lenalee, Kanda and I were left. And we decided to leave for Island Creamery. In the rain, our shoes squelched and  felt the rain on our skin. All four of us: the Big Four.

There’s something among us four that made us best friends forever. We were the first and in the end, we were all that remained today. We were the original four who set up the D.Gray Man Group, an inseparable clique that expanded to include Miranda, General Cross, Bak and Reever. But in the end, it’s always us who remains.

I felt the connection at the bus-stop, in the bus, in the rain and when we were devouring our ice-creams. We joked how Lenalee wanted so much to be a guy, and how Kanda looked so girlish, and I even suggested we do a role reversal for them. Kanda refused, and so we stuck to that. We laughed about pairings over ice-cream, Yullen, Allen x Tyki….

All four of us were really really awesome friends; I don’t even know how it started, but it did. I think D.Gray Man was a mutual love among us.

Thamim was the first to be named, because she had reborn her curly hair and it became so straight. She even wore only one earring on her left ear, so I jokingly called her ‘Allen Walker’ and it stuck. Even Mr Tan called her that.
Karena had super long hair and she was known for her speed, so ‘Lenalee’ was a perfect title for her.
Then Nicolle had long hair and she was amazingly tall, towering all over us. Though she had a really carefree kind of personality, we decided to call her ‘Kanda’.
My name wasn’t given by them though. I didn’t look like any character, and I actually wanted to be called ‘Road Camelot’, but one day, Mr Tan heard me calling Thamim ‘Allen’ so much, he went up to us and said: “Just give Paean an eyepatch and she’ll be Lavi.” Allen laughed at that. In a sense, I was Lavi. I was a bookworm and a pedophile so yeah, Lavi the Bookman Junior it was.

It’s kind of weird because we are all out of character. Lenalee was supposed to be the peacemaker while Allen and Kanda were supposed to fight all the time. Instead, Lenalee fought with Kanda and Allen had to break them up. It was hilarious. Miranda and I learned the 14th Musician and in a way, it became our ‘calling’. Whenever the song was played on the piano, every member in the D.Gray Man Group assembled near the piano and had our daily chat.

And yeah, Mr Tan knows D.Gray Man and apparently he watches it. We even gave him a name: The Millenium Earl, because all of the homework and tests he gave were Akumas and as Exorcists of the Black Order we had to defeat them (by doing and passing them). He doesn’t have huge sparkly teeth though. And he’s not fat.

I left earlier than the rest (I think they went to Cold Storage or something). We took pics. I was derp-ing around as usual. All four of us together again.

And maybe if I could, I would have stayed longer.

Those days were really wonderful.