Monthly Archives: April 2013

Undiscovered Love


I love the fact how love is hidden in the most unlikely places.

I love the fact how when you discover this hidden love, a feeling of warmth will bloom within.

I love and I cherish this warmth.

I love how people care about what I write.

I love it, when people appreciate my existence, and not take it for granted.

I love how I face each day anew.

I love how the day’s challenges turn into my trophies.

I love how my friends love me back.

I love strangers, who don’t even know me, yet their words are able to touch my heart.

I love every bit and piece of the word “love”.


Of Secrets and Locks

An argument is two-sided
A solution is doubled-edged
Of people’s known character
There is the dark side of on the Other

Dark sides are shadows
To loom, to be forgotten
Unnoticed, it is to be cloaked
The fear of being rejected

Secrets are harboured;
To protect those they love
Yet why does mistrust surge?
Intentions are nothing but pure

Not meant to be known
It’s hidden until it’s unleashed
Upon the virtual world
Locks are finally open


Exploration: Nike


 Author’s Note: This was my first draft for my Commonwealth Essay. I’m rewriting it now as it totally strayed out of point, focusing on the opportunity rather than the enterprise. This is my first time writing science-fiction and it’s been quite a thrill to do so. If you look closely, there is quite a number of references to Star Wars.

   To boldly go where no man had ever gone before was never an option to his father.

A man in his mid-fifties, David Heaken was a person not to be reckoned with. His eyes were as sharp as knives, sending glares that could kill someone on the spot. A boxer in his youth, his arms were tough and thick as a buffalos’ hide that could probably deflect bullets. He took off his boxing gloves ever since his son was born and got a job at the most unlikely place—the police station. Known as “The Bull”, fearsome criminal syndicates trembled at the mere mention of his name.

His son, however, was a different case altogether.

Trent Heaken had neatly cropped dark brown hair and sparkling storm blue eyes that seemed to draw people’s attention to him in a crowd. His mouth was frequently upturned into a smile; he was a pleasant boy to be around. Everyone who knew him always commented that he was a splitting image of his mother, who had passed away from an incurable disease when he was only five.

His mother had been, and always would be, his greatest source of inspiration. She was the woman who had always encouraged him to express his creativity and to never be afraid when things did not go the way he planned. To him, the lovely woman that had sat by his side and told him the incredible stories of Greek and Roman mythology was his goddess.

Since young, he had always loved to explore. Trent would pretend to be the fearless adventurer, Indiana Jones, and draw out his long whip to save his mother, the “damsel-in-distress”.  His father was not particularly amused, as Trent’s regular practice of the whip broke several expensive vases.

He had not understood much when his mother was diagnosed, nor did he understand that day when his mother started to whisper to him. She had seemed so weak that she gasped in between her sentences. “Tre…nt…e…strong…my…little…ad…ven…turer… re…mem…ber…” It was the last thing she said to him.

He had not fully understood the meaning of death. He always thought his mother had flown somewhere “really far away” as that was what the kind nurse had told him afterwards. He did not understand the sympathetic glances he received from teachers and adults, until he had approached his father.

“Dad, where’s Mum?”

There was no answer at first. Then, “Why?”

“Everyone behaves strangely around me when I talk about her. Mum is in another country right? When will she be back?”

“Soon.” It was a simple yet half-hearted answer.

“But I miss her! She’s been gone too long and—”


“—I want her with me now!”

It had been the last straw. His father slammed his fists onto the table, making him jump. Trent! Your mother is dead! Do you understand? She’s never coming back, so stop bothering me!”

Stunned, reality finally drove a knife into his little innocent heart. His mother was dead, and she would never read him his favourite heroes or play his “damsel-in-distress” anymore.

And then he wailed.


He stopped his adventures then. No more fantasising about going off to a hidden, unexplored jungle and hunt for lost treasure; the only thing that mattered was just drowning in books all day. He never knew what he wanted to be, even though he was an all-rounder. Some teachers persuaded him to take medical science, but it was not for him. He did not like sitting in offices and talking to people. After much pondering, he realised, he had never grown out of his adventurous spirit. What he really wanted to do was to explore the unknown.

He was eighteen when the opportunity came.  The posters around the town seemed to roar out at him: “Black Hole Exploration Confirmed! Aspiring Young Astronauts Wanted!” Scientists had managed to develop a new engine that everyone had long deemed only possible in science-fiction movies. The new space shuttle—or starship, as they called it—was able to explore further regions of the galaxy by using the most unbelievable method: through black holes.

It was common knowledge that black holes sucked up anything and everything, but until today, no one knew what was at the end. It had been proven by accident that black holes could actually act as portals to the other galaxies, because of an astronaut who hurled a tracking device into one after experiencing a bad day.

After much experimenting and tinkering, the starship was born, constructed of strong metal that could withstand the gravitational pressure of the black holes. And now, the missing ingredient was a team of astronauts. There was some debate and careful deliberation about the team. They had to be young and very fit so they could tolerate the high spatial pressure of teleporting. The age requirement, eighteen to twenty-five, was announced at a recent conference.

Trent knew it was the adventure for him. That night, he waited for his father to return and broke the news to him over dinner. But David’s reaction was far from his expectations.


“But, Dad—”

“Do you take me for a fool? Do you have any idea how dangerous those missions are? Why, haven’t you heard about those astronauts who died the moment they got on the spacecraft?” David thundered. The tension electrified between the two of them that evening.

Trent had already resolved to go, regardless of his father’s consent. But he had not been seeking consent, but rather, his father’s approval. Determination ruled his mind, and he turned up for the selection tests and interviews for the mission.

He was thrilled when he was one of the five candidates chosen out of the four thousand hopefuls. He clutched the letter tightly to his chest, the feeling of success jumping in his heart, as if it was his own treasure.  The joy sapped almost immediately as he remembered he had to obtain his father’s signature. He gritted his teeth in frustration. He would never approve! If only his mother were around…

And then his mother’s last words echoed in his mind, “Trent, be strong, my little adventurer. Remember.

And Trent found himself facing his father, his hands clenched but sweaty, as he said simply, “I’m not changing my mind, Dad, no matter what you say.” He sucked in a breath, and with it, he found renewed courage. “So please, sign the form.” He pushed forward the document, nervously waiting.

David shifted his eyes from the newspaper he was reading to his son. The headlines screamed out at him: “Black Hole Starship To Be Launched! The World Awaits!” There was a crisp rustle as he closed it and set it down on the table. He stood up, and glared hard into those intense blue eyes. He faltered a little; Trent’s eyes had always reminded him of his wife.

His beautiful wife, the woman he loved. He closed his eyes, and saw her smiling in his mind.

Come on, David! What are you so afraid of?

David knew what he had to do. Without another moment, he drew out his pen and uncapped it.


“Launching black hole generator in ten seconds…” The crackle came over the radio.

The starship had stopped, floating in orbit, and all five of them were strapped in tightly. The team consisted of Paul Milton, captain, Bridgette Randall, co-captain, Leia Hamill, Falkner Vale and finally, Trent Heaken, the youngest. The team had bonded over the training sessions and simulations, and to Trent, they were like an extended family.

“Seven…” It still came to him as a shock, that his father gave his approval. The moment where his father had signed the paper was playing in his mind repeatedly, and he would never be able to get over it. But the most surprising of them all, was when David had turned up for the send-off, and kissed him on the forehead. That was considered a “Good luck” and a hug rolled into one.

“Five…” And then, there was the problem of naming their starship. Everyone wanted it to be slick, cool and most of all, meaningful. It had been a day before the starship team conference when they were all pressured into thinking about it. There was the “Apollo 20”, which everyone instantly struck off, followed by “Millennium Falcon”, but the one that struck something in Trent was “Andromeda”.

“Three…” It was then he suggested something. He told them of a story, of a boy who wanted to be an adventurer and had a goddess for a mother. He always thought of his mother of a person who had always brought him victory in his adventures, and so he called his mother the “Goddess of Victory”…

“Two…” Everyone approved of the name he said.

“One! Opening the black hole!” Paul shouted. The starship shot a beam of ray at the empty space in front of them, and a huge gaping hole started to swallow them.

Nike, exploration successful.

Long Live


I still remember the moment at the back of my mind. 

Donning our white uniforms, we had solemnly marched into the parade square grounds, and our boots went with a steady rhythm of clops and clacks. We came to a standstill, spun with a rigid ninety degrees, and then our left feet came down with a loud bang. My arms trembled a little as I concentrated on the huge Crescent logo in front of me. From the corner of my eye, I could barely see the crowd of parents looking on with anticipation.

We had been the kings and the queens. We had ruled the unit: occupied with plannings for the activities, panicking about organising camps, pondering over home visits, and struggling to meet with deadlines. We steered the unit towards the future with our own hands and brains, and guidance from our VIs and YOs. We charged forth, with one common goal in mind, and one goal only: to become the best unit, that no one ever was.

They read off our names– all 15 of them. Procedures cycled around me, manifesting in the form of a sushi conveyor belt. Recalling each step, I recited: move forward, bang, salute, move forward, bang again. Shake hands. Move hands up, left over right, bring down, move back, bang, salute. Turn 90 degrees. March. I breathed in and mentally prepared myself.  

It’ll never be the same. The Mondays and Thursdays that made us groan because of CCA, will now feel so empty and lifeless. Next Monday, when I wake up, I will never have to take my mufti, or bun my hair. It’s so strange now. No more standing by and waiting for one another at the rainbow room. No two-times-in-a-week interactions with Tiffany, Kai Yi, Jasmine, Faith, Jamie, Yu Jin, Mira, Li Ling, Heng Yong, Suen Chi, Jeanette, Siok Hiang, Lehkhaa and Xiaoling.

This is sad and weird.

We held our head up high like heroes written in history textbooks. It was the end of our reign, but it was a start of another new age. 

Long live the walls we crashed through,
While the kingdom lights shined just for me and you.
I was screaming: long live all the magic we made!
And bring on all the pretenders!
One day, we will be remembered.

The pictures; the polaroids, Facebook, instagrams; circulating. Those cheesy poses and our wide grinning Cheshire smiles brightened the images. Of all those years we stood on the sidelines, wishing so hard that we would become NCOs. And now…

We were those NCOs we envied and looked up to. We were those cool NCOs that have to be greeted. Every promotion was a step to becoming a NCO. When the baton was finally passed on, they gave us our crowns, and we held it for the crowd. 


Long live the walls we crashed through,
I had the time of my life with you!

Thank you for these wonderful 4 years.

Long, long live the walls we crashed through

I’ve never regretted joining Red Cross.

All the kingdom lights shined just for me and you

Because I met you guys.

And I was screaming: long live all the magic we made!

Our memories were magical.

And bring on all the pretenders!

There will never be another squad like us.

I’m not afraid!

I will never be afraid.


Singing, long live all the mountains we moved!

Long live all the troubles we conquered.

I had the time of my life fighting dragons (and phoenixes [birds]) with you!

Long live all the tough times we endured.

And long, long live the look on your face!

Long live all the memories we made.

And bring on all the pretenders!

There has never been another CCA like you.


One day we will be remembered.



CRCY 2012/2013 <3


So today, I’ve officially stepped down as NCO…and strangely enough, it hasn’t really set in.

I still feel like I’m a cadet (which I’m definitely am ;D), I still feel like I’ll be going off for CCA and lazing about in the Red Cross Room.

Yeah, and I still feel like I’m going to face the stupid lock in the rainbow door.

It’s hard to say goodbye to this legacy of ours — this four years of sweat, blood and tears– but the hardest I’ll say goodbye to are my squadmates.

I mean, we’ve been through everything together. We’ve been through the strain of locking our arms, sweating profusely under the sun, marching like crazy, preparing uniforms the day before, polishing boots like siao, making sure our badges, berets, hair are all up to standard… I think I’ll really miss those moments of agony.

Here’s the end to the first UG I have ever participated in. They say being in UG is actually one of the best things in life, but I never understood it till today.

I’ll miss everything.

The rainbow door that will never open for me, even though how hard I slam myself against it in frustration.
(Plus the key that can’t do its job haha)

The ironing of my uniform, and hoping so badly that it’ll be up to standard. (Praying to my pleats to stay pleat-y)

Crossing fingers and hoping I get the footdrill moves right.

Those boots that will never ever shine (but it did today so yay!)

And then, my squadmates that crack silly jokes and come up with so many weird stuff.

It’s so hard to believe that just 3 years ago, we were some happy-go-lucky Sec 1 kids that found everything so laughable. I was pretty annoying during that year, now as I think of it.

Then came the second year, where we had our first juniors. We tirelessly taught them the basics, got punished when they forgot, then we flipped tables when they didn’t understand.

Third year was full of anxiety, as we stepped up as NCO, something that we had longed for ever since we came in. I didn’t get the post I wanted, but at least I was one of the three RCK I/Cs so yay! 😀

It was only then we realised, running a unit was not as easy as it seemed. We stayed back for debrief long after the cadets left. The auntie will always come around and knock on our door when we stayed until 7pm. There was all the admin, the training, the planning… after a week of taking charge, we wanted to step down.

And now… I really don’t really want to step down. This was the first time I was ever so committed to a CCA, and I’m leaving it all behind now.

Hahahahaha this really sucks. :’D

Well, I’m saving my tears for Farewell Party, and I hope they have some freestyle dancing so I can just groove and party away with no more regrets.



haha there. i said it.


Sometimes we look into the past

Where a trail of stars flame so bright

Zooming across the sky so fast

A dawning horizon of a new light

Sometimes we look ahead where the future lies

And then our heads turn back to the time

Where our legacy was forged with pride, a single line:

“Oh, give us  strength to prove, sure and sublime!”

A whisper; a chapter comes to a close

We hold the last key with our reluctant fingers

Here, it concludes with the epilogue

But unforgotten cherished memories still linger

Remember the days when we used to laugh and play?

A symphony of sad tinkling bells seem to call

Now we understand the meaning of that Musketeer way

All for one, one for all



A guitar strumming in the distance
Fills my head with strange wonder
As my feet find themselves in a dance
Jumping, twirling and never ending

A fire burns ahead! I wonder where we should go
As the break of dawn suddenly appears through the clouds
And then the river rushes against the flow
I just wonder how feet could feel this loud

Its all about the rhythm of the dance!
Adrenaline rushing, lips humming, hips shaking
We can’t stop moving and we never shall
Take the music; take the sound
But you will never destroy the rhythm of our life!
Hear us as we shake the ground!
Feel the strongest mountains tremble!
Watch as the people arise like a tide

Guitar plucking from the distance
Mysteriously tapping lightly on my soul
I hear you! I hear you! This is where we shine!
Together, beside you, beside us, anything is possible

The music slows down; beat by beat
Heart still a-pounding; tongues still a-singing
Do we actually dare to stop now?
Burn the place down!

To the rhythm of our soulful dance
Look at this energy remaining in us! Do you envy?
Hearts a-flitting, tongues a-wagging, hips a-shaking!
We jam the night away in music’s blissful embrace
Can you feel the flow of the song as it echoes through your mind?
Oh oh! So hear this song we are singing, witness the dance we are dancing
We are alive and kickin’!

Why do we dream so much? We dream, because we are!
We find the power that resides; this power that will change the world!
No one makes the judgement; throw away your worries
Be brave, charge forth, blazing spirits set alight!

The rhythm, the song, the dance of our life
It’s something we all LIVE for!
It’s where we share the memories and LAUGH with the good times!
Surrounded by warmth, we return the LOVE
Hear our song! Hear our song! We are invincible (invincibili!)
Beat us down; we rise back up!
Knock us down; we bounced back towards you!
Slam us? WE ROCK YOU!

This is the road we walk together
This future we all look towards
Clutching hands, we face onwards

This is the rhythm, song, dance of our life
Nothing could be more powerful
Believe in the power of determination and pride

We are not afraid to dream…

Lost and Found


A wanderer, she is lost
Soul that cannot be found
Who will never be broken apart
Loved ones are still cherished
Her will never fades; never dies
Family resides in the pale horizon

So she walked endlessly; tirelessly
Strong that she is; undaunted as her
She never gave up; persistent with hope
Fought with all her spirit
Wanderer could not control
Could not regain herself in Her
Not anyone could stop Her
Prevail if she must

A journey of two minds
Mission to walk with two souls
To find and seek the truth they’ve been looking
Find a heart that would satisfy their love
Love, the most powerful tool in the world
Within this reduced Earth of ours
Destruction is nothing but an illusion

Two boys, two different love
Souls that try to compromise

Two that seem so complex, yet similar
Hearts that were divided
Now, somehow, through the trouble
Connected via this thread of love

One strange group of four now
Family made of an unbreakable bond

A bit of self-reflection and a poem :D


So how do I start? It’s the 4th day of the 4th month and I’m a month away from exams.

But somehow, I feel good about it? HAHA. Okay let’s start from the top.


So today I finally found the courage to give my parents my CT report. It’s really horrible, except for the fact I got a B4 for Chinese WHICH IS A TOTAL MIRACLE AND A FIRST 😀 I’ve never been good at Chinese and for the first time, it’s better than my English.

I bet some of you are going to punch me when I tell you I failed my English. Yeah I did, okay, so my cousin is going to give me a good smack. (SORRY ELICIA I SWEAR THE COMPRE WAS HARD) Haha okay lame excuse there. But I didn’t understand why they didn’t put my listening/narrative/article in, not I’d get an A2. LIKE SERIOUSLY OKAY.

Oh well.

I realised, from my papers, THAT I CAN ACTUALLY DO THOSE PAPERS. But I didn’t link back to the question FOR SS AND HIST NOT MY ESSAY WOULDA HAVE BEEN AWESOME LIKE SERIOUSLY. Ugh Paan why you stupid! *BANGS HEAD*

But this actually shows that I CAN DO WELL so I’m gonna redo my CT papers/ mock papers (when I get them back). I don’t care, Imma gonna try out the 10 hour thing…..if i can. Oh gosh I really want to get lower than 25 for MYE.

SOMEBODY HELP ME. I can’t really call on my seniors, cause that’d be really awkward…or maybe I should find the courage to? I don’t know…. Any advice out there?

Okay now on to the poem…I AM GONNA TO PARTICIPATE IN THE TORRENCE COMPETITION WTV IT IS HAHA. So I shall practice on my poetry yeah…then go back to Commonwealth Essay 😀

There’s a hidden message placed in the same way for the previous poems. If you managed to see it, AWESOME. If you didn’t…well, try again! 😀 (for some reason I’d feel deviously proud if you didn’t see it cause it shows that I am so SNEAKY)


Of Gratitude

I don’t know how to say it
“Thank you” is sort of awkward in a way…especially to
You infront of me
Words make me stutter;
Cannot really show the gratitude or
Express myself properly
My heart tells me to speak
Gratitude is to be conveyed!