Monthly Archives: February 2013

The Six

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I stop, think, stare.
It all comes back to me now
I remember the days when you were there
Lost in the memories, all in smiles

Then came the day
When she had to break away
Goodbye was a hard word to say
So laughter became our tears (in a way)

It took one to make two
Another for three
Four and five made our crew
Yet six was needed to be free

Incomplete, we sang
We lost one that could never be replaced
Because she was our friend
And she could never be erased

We had been united;
So strong was our bond
Yet somehow our fortress crumpled
Because Five said she was done

I thought she was our only problem
The divide started to thicken
Three and Four became solemn
It isn’t going the way it was written

Six texted Two;
I don’t understand why
But this picture you drew
You made Two cry

Seven has another
She doesn’t seem to understand
The stake that has been driven
To tear apart our gang

The last was Eight
The psychologist who strangely was
Whose initiation was rather late
But yet she talked about loss

Today we sat and talked
Under the shade we scrambled
To finally release the hidden locks
We couldn’t help but ramble

Two spoke first, her tale driving us to tears
Five was next who brought up her reason and cried
Next was I who mentioned my fears
And Three and Four who finally tried

Eight spoke of loneliness
The trio spoke of distance
Two knew both, never less
And about Nine who seemed the strongest

But all in all
We did survive
Overcame the odds and walls
Like Proctor in the Crucible

Our circle once broken, once shattered
Suddenly became even stronger once again
Now to Six our thoughts transferred
Who we shall now regain

Our circle needs Six
Six: do you hear us?
We are now in the fix
So please come back to us

Hello/How are you?

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Author’s Note: Don’t push us away.

Based on Hatsune Miku’s Haro/Hawayu of the same name.

——————-

Hello! 
I opened my window and whispered. 
How are you? 
Alone in my room, with no one.

OOOO

It’s morning. That was as much she could comprehend. There was a strong barrage of raindrops hammering on her window, but she couldn’t seem to muster up the energy to pull the blanket over her head. Her head turned away from the noise. The pillow was soft and welcoming, but sleep didn’t seem to want her back yet.

Tick-tack. Tick-tack. Tick-tack. 

Her eyes hardened as her mind became a tape re-winder, and she desperately shook it off. She didn’t want to relive the day again. She didn’t want to remember.

She felt listless, sapped of all of her strength. So powerless and helpless and all alone…

She needed somebody to wind her up again.

I’m useless…I’m useless…

OOOO

Sleeping… 
I must stop saying silly things and start preparing….
Crying… 
…in order to hide my tear marks.

OOOO

“Oh well, whatever.” A shrug.

It had become her favourite phrase overnight.

All the words she had uttered were nothing were lies.

“I’m fine.” “I’m okay.” “Everything’s cool.”

Only her favourite phrase felt like the real truth.

———————

Why is it that you end up hiding it? 
Is it that you’re scared of being laughed at? 
Is it that you don’t want to meet anyone? 
Is that really true?

———————-

She felt like she was drowning in a sea of ambiguity. Waves after waves of uncertainty washed over her, as she struggled in the powerful tides. She couldn’t seem to breathe.

Everything was dark, so dark.

But she stubbornly refused to do anything about it.

A small urge to reach out, but she resists. 

It is a sign of weakness.

OOOO

Even if I’m happy or sad,
The morning sun will still rise fairly and cruelly. 
I’m already trying my best just to live, 
what else do you possibly expect of me?

OOOO

Lonely.

So lonely.

But she pushed everything away.

Feelings. Friends. Herself.

————

Why do you end up being bothered by this? 
Is it that you actually want to be loved? 
Who was it that let go of your hand? 
Have you come to a realization?

————–

Why is it that you end up hiding it? 
Is that you actually want me to ask you about it? 
I promise that I will not laugh, 
So why don’t you trying tell me? 

—————-
I won’t know anything if you don’t open your mouth. 
You won’t convey anything by merely thinking in your head. 
What a troublesome species of organism, 
The one called “human”, that is.

OOOO

Hello! 
To you, I say:
How are you? 

OOOO

——————————————————————————

I don’t know if you will see this.

But anyway, to you:

I know it’s been hard. I know life’s a struggle.

But life does has it’s merits too.

There are memories to be treasured. And then there’s us. Me. You.

I don’t understand your withdrawal. I don’t understand why you did what you did.

Whatever it is, we are still your friends. I’m still your friend.

I don’t care whatever you do, you can’t throw us away.

I’m voicing out what they think too.

Please.

Don’t break this treasure we share.

I know everything happens for a reason.

Just…don’t be selfish. Whatever you do affects us. And what you did really hurt us. I know you are hurt too. But you can’t solve anything by yourself.

You are lonely, I get it. But…

Can we just talk about this? Face to face? I don’t know if either of us have the courage to speak up.

You know what.

Forget it.

Just remember this.

We all love you so don’t do anything stupid.

 

Together

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Author’s Note: This is dedicated to my precious cousin and ‘sister’, Elicia/Tsubaki. She’s gonna evade me tomorrow in school so I can’t personally wish a happy birthday (yet). Anyway, tanjoubi omedetou, Tsubaki-san! 誕生日おめでとう!Hehe… I will bug you on Tuesday so don’t think you can escape me for long hoho.

To my dear Elicia: Happy 17th Birthday (: I love you so much. Thank you for the wonderful Valentine’s Day cover. :’) I wanted to do the same, but as you know, I suck. Maybe I’ll do one somewhere around the week? Need to catch up on my homework though. I’ll hug you on Tuesday. What time do you end? 4? Let me give you a proper hug/greeting on that day okay? I hope you’ll find this pressie okay…..MY WRITING DEGRADED D: meh.

This song-fic is based on Onnaji Kimochi by TOKYO GIRLS’ STYLE. And to my classmates who might have “stumbled” upon this: THIS IS THE SONG I’VE BEEN DANCING TO 😀

Ehhh gomen if it’s weird.

—-

Hey there, it’s finally spring.

It’s weird how time flies, doesn’t it? I can still see the frosty remnants on the trees. The sun is bright as ever, and the ice melts, trickling into drops of cold water. I’m looking at a leaf now; it’s green with life. Isn’t it strange how the trees were barren before? Mother Nature sure knows the beauty of life, doesn’t she?

Life and death; spring and winter. I’m pretty sure there’s a message behind it all. 

Ah! I felt a wind…such a refreshing scent! It blows gently on my face…is it you I wonder? It feels like caresses, like your hugs. Eh… I taste salt. Why is it drizzling all of a sudden?

I better close the windows before this gets smudged.

Wait for me, alright? 🙂

———-

“I really love having you with me,” Moune suddenly said.

Eri, who was happily munching on a cookie, choked. “What?!” She patted her chest and coughed dramatically.

Moune crawled on the spongy grass on her knees, her brown curls bouncing on her shoulders, towards the other teen who had barely regained her senses. “I’m serious! I really do love having you with me!”

Eri wiped the crumbs off her pink skirt, her pony tail swishing in the wind as she faced Moune. “And that took you four years to realise?”

The taller teen flipped herself over as she gazed towards the sky, sighing. Eri laid down next to her, tucking her palms under her head. The clouds drifted lazily by as black silhouettes of birds graced across them.

“It’s finally the year, huh,” Moune said, mostly to herself.

With a jolt, Eri realised what it was all about. And then, the same sorrow washed over her and suddenly a cold wind blew. The tree that majestically stood over them seemed to wither in size as its leaves were blown away.

——

What’s up. 

I don’t feel as cheery, maybe it’s because you’re not here with me.

I don’t feel like writing anymore. Whose idea was it anyway? Mine? I should have known better, since I’m a girl of few words. 

I’ll see you.

Maybe.

——-

“Ehh~!” Moune scratched her head. A bandanna was tied across a forehead with the words “GAMBATTE” sploshed across. Her eyes glanced with frustration at the mathematics book in front of her. “I can’t do this question!!” Instantly she turned to Eri who was sitting next to her, in deep concentration. “Eri!! I can’t do this!! Help!”

“Eh?” Eri was shaking herself out of her stupor. “Oh, oh okay. Which question?” Moune’s eyes lit up and immediately thrust  the math book into Eri’s face childishly.

Eri looked it over, nodded to herself, and began to work it out. Moune watched in awe as her pen flew over the paper and then ended off with two strokes. “There!” Eri said satisfactorily.

Moune threw herself onto Eri, hugging her tightly. “With you around, any problem can be solved!!”

“Moune! MOUNE!’ Eri gasped heavily. “I CAN’T BREATHE!”

——

Hello again! 🙂

I just saw a butterfly! It was really pretty and it reminded me of you. Yellow always seemed to be your colour. Strangely, everything I see is yellow.

Did you know? Yellow is sunshine, which equals happiness! The sun definitely looks like you! Bursting with happiness everyday! 

Hope you are happy now!

——–

“So it’s tomorrow?”

“…Yeah.”

They were at their favourite spot again, lying beside each other under the tree, under the dark glittering sky. Moune blinked away the tears as she turned to face Eri, who looked undisturbed. Her cheerful eyes reflected the shimmering stars.

“Aren’t the stars wonderful?” Eri breathed. “You know, my mum always said stars were dreams. God captured those dreams and pasted them on the sky so that it can be seen all over the world.” Moune watched as Eri’s fingers playfully stretched towards the sky, as if grasping the sprinkling dreams.

Dreams. 

Moune closed her eyes.

——–

I made a wish that night.

Because you are too important to me, I want to hold you forever.

I wanted you to remain.

———

The two friends faced each other. One, holding back tears, clutching a card to her chest. The other, still smiling as she heard the distinct thumps of furniture being loaded onto the truck behind her.

“So this is it,” Moune clamped her jaw to keep her voice from breaking. I will be strong. I will be strong. I will not cry in front of her.

“Yeah.” Eri nodded, not knowing what to say. What do I do? What should I do? How do I even say goodbye?

The wind drifted between the two of them, bringing awkwardness into the atmosphere.

Moune walked slowly, towards Eri, respectfully holding out a card. in which she had invested almost a whole month. Pictures of them smiling decorated with colourful stickers and well-wishes suddenly seemed inappropriate.

“Thank you, Moune,” Eri flashed her a smile. Moune smiled back.

They didn’t know who initiated it first, but they found themselves in each other’s arms, sobbing crazily. “I’ll miss you so much!” Moune cried.

“I’ll come back one day,” Eri promised, tears running down her cheeks without constraint. “But for now, tomorrow, don’t be sad anymore. Remain spirited, Moune. We’ll meet again.”

“Write to me okay?” Moune pleaded. “I’ll write to you, as often as possible. Please, please don’t forget me!”

“Don’t worry, I will, and trust me, you’ll never be forgotten,” Eri said. “Ever.”

They held each other like there was never going to be another tomorrow.

——

I received your letter, Eri.

It’s weird that you’d be the first to reply.  After all, I was the one who initiated it. 

I’ve missed you so much…

How long must I wait?

You were my…

——-

Moune:

Even tomorrow, we must be spirited. Let’s get together again…

We’ll meet each other soon okay?

——-

….miracle…

——-

Remember that certain feeling when you made the wish…

——-

….I miss you.

——-

….I love you.

——–

It happened only five years later.

Eri boarded a train.

Moune flagged down a bus.

Both of them stared out of the windows.

She watched the clouds; she watched the trees.
She saw the stars; she felt the wind.
She smiled; so did she.

They headed to the same destination: an old oak tree in the middle of a field of grass.

——-

Tomorrow is going to be a fine day. We’ll meet each other soon.

Little Girl

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She swings, chains creaking with rust
Her dimply fingers grasp tight;
Around her is grey dust
She is afraid to part

Rain like crystals fall seemingly from the sky
Strangely only on her; salty
Reality is bleak, future is dark
No wind blows

Pausing in a frown
Deep silence envelops
She steps down
Cast aside; abandoned, she is alone

Her hair grows, her fingers coursen
Her eyes no longer full of childish hope
Dull like future, laughing no more
Where does she fly?

Brown, grey, black
Nothing of importance
She takes a step back
And walks away without a second’s glance