Monthly Archives: October 2011

Memories

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Author’s Note: I am dedicating this to a very conflicted friend of mine. She is confused and torn between the choices of being together with us or trying to get good grades in school. I tried to make her feel better, but I know it was not really helping. So I am going to advise her in the best way I can, by writing.

Memories

Life probably never went your way. Full of loops and turns, sudden twists and hidden surprises, life could be easily referred to as a mammoth labyrinth with multiple exits that were enshrouded in dark mists. You chose the routes you take, you controlled your fate. You didn’t know where you would end up–a trap or a safe house?– you wouldn’t know until you entered it.  Cruel, but it all depended on your choice.

In real life scenario, a trap was an obstacle that you had to face. It could either be fated or something of your own doing. It was already quite obvious how to differentiate a fated obstacle and a obstacle you unwillingly created. Something they had in common though, was that they couldn’t be avoided. You had to face them one day, no matter whether you liked it or not.

Everybody is the victim of the Labyrinth of Life. You couldn’t escape it or buy a free ticket out, no matter how rich or smart you are, everyone has fallen into one of the deadly traps in the Labyrinth.

Yes, everything seems scary. But it’s not impossible to conquer it; you just have to make the right choices. It’s difficult, because some choices are tricky and full of deceit. Others seem bright and promising, but they drag you down.

There is only a sentence given to you when you are first brought in the Labyrinth. A reluctant participant, I am sure.

Choose wisely.

I had never dreamed that one day, I would be separated from the two whom I called my best friends. Sure, we weren’t the best threesome around. Both of them always had conflicts and we quarrel from time to time. But we made up. Mostly.

Then streaming year came and I was thrown into reality for the first time. I was alone. I was stuck in a class where I knew nobody, where I had to start a year all over again.

It wasn’t fair!

Throughout the first semester, I was silent and easily became the loner of the class. Nobody wanted to be with me.

I was alone.

Then I remembered.

We are sitting on the cold marble floor of Emma’s house, each of furiously pressing the buttons on our Nintendo DS. We are playing the same game, but different versions. I am the only one with Pokemon Pearl Version while the two of them have Pokemon Diamond Version. But yet, with the power of technology, we are able to interact with each other underground. It was fascinating.

I giggled silently. That day was the first time I had ever gone to a friend’s house and also the first time we played Pokemon together. We were chasing each other for flags that would upgrade our Underground Base and earn us some new space and items. We had immensely enjoyed ourselves that time.

~*~

And then there was Secondary 1. I was out of place when I entered the school that I was now in. I was the appeal student, with lower marks. I was torn away from most of my D.Gray Man Group members. I still had Karena, but she was a class away.

We are at our usual spot, at the piano. We always gathered there and ate our food. Then it would be either me or Min Fay playing the 14th  Musician or Tsuna Awakens. Both were songs that came from awesome Japanese anime, D.Gray Man–where we got our name–and Katekyo Hitman Reborn!. Thamim was Allen, I was Lavi, Karena was Lenalee, Nicolle was Kanda and Min Fay was Miranda. I didn’t know it till I came to Secondary School…we were actually popular. The fun times we had…truth and dare…pranking our form teacher…

Those were memories.

So, my dear friend who could be reading this right now, it doesn’t matter if you are separated or not. Because Moodoo will never be destroyed. Moodoo isn’t really the six of us. Moodoo is our memories of us being together.

That’s why we were random. Our memories of us walling, playing in the fountain, going to Universal Studios…those are all memories to be treasured and kept safely in our hearts.

Even when we are apart, we are together.

Our memories are the bonds that keep us connected. Our hearts are the key to keep Moodoo beating.

 

******

 

We will always be friends, Nadine. Moodoo will never leave you behind.

Moodoo is a six letter word that won’t exist if one of us is missing.

Random. Another six letter word that’ll be completely destroyed without one letter.

Moodoo is us. We are Moodoo.

We are the lockers that safeguards our memories.

Never forget that. So don’t worry. We will always be with you.

 

You’ll always be in our hearts. 

 

 

 

Courage

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Author’s Note: I had just watched The Adventures of Merlin Season 4 Episode 2 which aired on BBC just today, thanks to the wonders of MerlinJunkie on YouTube. Lots of thanks!

I was really sad, because my favourite Knight of Camelot sacrificed himself. I don’t know if he’s dead or just merely wandering around in the spirit realm, alone with the ghosts of good and bad. Anyway, I really liked him, because he was friends with Merlin and aware of his magical secret.

So this is for you, Sir Lancelot, Santiago Cabrera.

Courage

What was courage to him? Lancelot had pondered that question ever since he was knighted. Was courage recklessly charging into danger? Or was it standing by and protecting the Crown Prince at all costs?

He always thought of Arthur’s manservant as the bravest of them all. He had to hide his identity as a warlock and risk his life to save the prince no matter what at the same time, even though he was just a mere servant. The other knights, though unaware of Merlin’s secret, had respected him as much as they respect the prince.

“I am going to take Arthur’s place.” Merlin had told him when they were riding to the Isle of the Blessed to catch up with the rest. Lancelot was supposed to accompany him back to Camelot after Merlin laid dying when an evil spirit had washed over him. They had came to rest at a brook, where he carried Merlin and placed him there. Miraculously, the good spirits of the brook had healed him, restoring him back to health.

It was a long story. Basically, Morgana had torn open the veil that separated the spirit realm from the world, releasing both evil and good spirits. And Arthur set out with his loyal Knights of the Round Table, together with Merlin, to seal it. But in order to do so, a blood sacrifice was needed. Predictably, Arthur volunteered himself.

Now they were on their way back. Lancelot was silent. He knew that Merlin would do anything to save the Prince. They rode on as Gwen’s words rang in his head.

Please, Lancelot, bring Arthur back safe. 

Pain filled his heart. He still felt broken inside. He had loved Guinevere. But she was meant for Prince Arthur instead. “He’s the better man,” he had said to Merlin the previous night. “And she deserves a man better than me.”

But he couldn’t lie to himself. Who was he kidding? It was clear that he was thoroughly smitten with her. He even doubted that Merlin had believed his words that he had given up Gwen.

What could he say? Love acted funny like that. Cheating you, flipping everything upside down.

Indeed, love was blind.

Lancelot appeared at their shelter alone, much to the surprise of the other knights and the prince himself, who all had their swords drawn from their sheaths.

“Lancelot?” Arthur stared at him bewildered. “Where’s Merlin?” From the ruins at where they had parted, it would have taken two to three days to get to Camelot, yet Lancelot had caught up to them in a day. He wasn’t the type that would abandon Merlin. Unless something bad had happened on the way…

Everyone watched as Lancelot hesitated. “I’ve got bad news.”

Arthur started. No…  Merlin couldn’t have died….

Then Lancelot broke into a smile as he stepped aside, revealing Merlin. “He’s alive.”

They crossed the river the very next morning. The boat quietly made its way to the Isle of the Blessed, where the impressive ruins of a castle remained.

The welcoming party was indeed a frightening sight. Two wyverns began to attack them as soon as they spotted them. Lancelot spotted Merlin whispering the words of the Old Religion and instantly, the wyverns backed off, retreating behind a tall tower. Conveniently, it was also the way to the rip.

“Go!” Percival roared, as he grasped his sword tightly. “We’ll hold them off here!”

Gwaine and Leon joined him, waving their swords frantically, and succeeded in wounding one of them.

Merlin, Arthur and Lancelot rushed off.

The tear was colossal. It stretched from a metre off the ground to the sky. Within it, black mists were pouring out and churning within the rip itself. Lancelot wondered if that was the spirit realm itself. Just before it, was a sacrifice table, where Morgana had laid her blood sacrifice to open the tear.

A wrinkled woman clad in black stood there, looking at them expectantly. It didn’t take long enough to recognise her as the Gatekeeper–Cailleach.

Arthur stepped forward, and made his way towards her. Merlin quickly recited another spell and he was dragged back and gently thrown on the floor, unconscious.

“So, Emrys,” Cailleach noted. “You have decided to challenge me after all.”

Verbal exchange took place as a dilemma rose in Lancelot. He stood there, and then moved. Before he knew it, he was before the tear. It was even more magnificent up close. And at that point of time, he knew.

The answer to his question.

What was courage to me?

Courage is knowing the right thing to do and having the commitment to do it.

He decided. He chose.

To be the blood sacrifice.

“But it is not yet your time, Emrys.”

Lancelot looked back, and saw Merlin’s horrified expression. He just returned it with a small smile.

Goodbye.

Flashes of him fighting a griffin, Gwen, Arthur, the rest of the knights…and Merlin.

The moment he stepped through, the darkness cloaked him, and he heard Merlin’s desperate cry.

“NO!”

And then silence.

=*******=

“We will honour Sir Lancelot’s sacrifice, and his unselfish deed will not be forgotten,” Arthur said to the knights assembled before him. Merlin felt numb.

It wasn’t supposed to happen this way. I was supposed to be the one who walked through that tear. I was supposed to be the sacrifice. Everything’s wrong….

But yet, the burning of Lancelot’s red cape and sword was happening right in front of his eyes.

Gwen’s sobs racked her whole body as Arthur stood beside her, stoic, giving her hand a comforting squeeze.

Merlin looked to the fire, then the sky and added his own eulogy.

You were the greatest friend and knight anyone could have asked for–

Sir Lancelot, the noblest of the noble, the bravest of the brave.

A Gift Of A Friend

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Author’s Note: I was doing a draft chapter on friendship (about the Moodoo gang) that I was going to add into my novel, Forgotten. And then I remembered Demi Lovato’s song, which was featured on the Disney movie ‘Tinkerbell and the Lost Treasure’. Although this is talking about how Aschyris was traumatised by the years she spent in her twin’s mind, it is dedicated to Moodoo.

So if you are reading this now, I am really glad to know you guys. We spent our two years together through thick and thin, and I really can’t bear that we are going to be separated from each other. I don’t want us to end up like King Solomon and Queen Sheba (though they are lovers, but that’s not the point =_=), apart because of fate. We make our own decisions and control our turns in life, not some idiot system in school.

Let us be together all the way, okay?

A Gift Of A Friend

The days I spent in Sacrael’s mind was over since a month ago, yet I bore the emotional scars I dwelling there as long as I could remember. The outside world was much brighter that I could ever imagine, but it burned my eyes. The time I had been cloaked in total darkness had taken its toll on me- I couldn’t stare at things under light.

However, the nurse here had assured me that it would wear off as soon as I got used to it. I hoped she was right. I didn’t want to delve into the dark anymore. It was so lonely and empty, that I felt like tearing myself in two. I had considered cutting myself to be rid of the roller-coaster of emotions wildly turning my head upside down, but then shook it off.

No, I had argued with the foolishness of myself. I am not going to become weak! I am strong! I can handle this.

I had been introduced to Soven and Marellyn when I had stepped onto the rescue helicopter sent by the Head. They were simply amazed by my story and quickly became acquainted. Back to Kartafygion, curious Forgotten Ones questioned me.

What is your element?

Is it true you lived in Sacrael’s mind all this time?

How did it feel to be latching on another’s mind?

That question drove my rage to the edge. With a hasty turn towards that person, I felt my head burst. An invisible psychic shockwave exploded around me and the whole crowd of nosy people were forced onto their knees as I pressed two words into the deepest part of their brains, which I was familiar with, thanks to the years in my twin’s head.

“BE QUIET.”

That would answer their first two questions. I hated the third question. How it felt, you ask me? One word: horrible. Everywhere is just dark. You know you aren’t blind, but as wide as you can widen your eyes, you can’t see anything. No matter how hard you focus your eyes in one direction, there was nothing to see. Because, nothing was there. Just you and an endless stretch of walls at your sides. You sleep and hope to wake up with everything bright.

But deep down, you know it won’t. And that was your nightmare.

You couldn’t make sense of the time. You couldn’t count the days. You couldn’t do anything.

The meeting with the Head was nothing special. She just gave Soven the directions to my room and told me to rest well. The next few days, I realised my inability to see in light for a long period of time. So for most the day, I was stuck in my room, with all the lights switched off. Immediately, the image of me terrified and lost in my twin’s mind hit me like a blow.

“No!” I ordered. “This is different! I can see things!”

It was true. I could see the bed I was sitting on, the desk at the side with books of various genres dumped on it, the bathroom and the door. Yet, I was still scared, trembling as I hugged my knees and dunked my head within their embrace.

Why?

-*-

I started lessons the very next day. No one dared to look at me in the eyes in class. Even the teacher just pointed to a table at the far end of the room instead of telling me. A silence had enveloped the whole room when I entered. Without a word, I plopped on my seat and took out the respective textbook. It was Languages now.

The teacher, a tall lanky man, pushed his black-framed spectacles further up the bridge of his nose as he became to point to different Greek words and pronounced them professionally.

“So who can translate this into English?” He used a long stick and poked at a long string of squiggles. People started muttering and began to refer to their Greek-to-English dictionaries.

I stared at it for a moment. ‘Ένα δώρο από ένα φίλο’ was scrawled on the board. And it began to register itself in my mind.

“A gift of a friend,” I whispered.

The teacher must have had a powerful sense of hearing because his head snapped up and gaped. “What?”

His gaze was locked on me. “Repeat loudly for the whole class to hear, Asheris.”

“Gift of a friend,” I said my answer loudly before turning towards the teacher. “And it’s Aschyris, sir.”

“Hey, Ash!” Marellyn said cheerily as she slapped a hand on my shoulder, making me jump. I swiveled instantly and glared at her.

“It’s Aschyris!” I hissed, shoving her off me. What was up with people with mispronouncing my name? And note: I hated nicknames.

“Whoa, chill there,” Soven walked up to Marellyn who had a hurt expression on her face. “Are you okay, Aschyris?”

Finally! Someone mature enough to get my name right!

“I am fine,” I insisted, my anger still seething. “Could you guys just leave me alone? I need to go back to my room.”

“Do you need any help with homework or anything?” queried Marellyn wearing a smile.

“No!” I snapped as I rushed off. “I am fine by myself and I don’t need anyone!”

I locked myself in the room for the fifth time that week. Hugging myself, I knelt before the door and sobbed myself to sleep.

=*=

There was pain, as I awoke groggily. My body felt sticky as I dragged myself into the bathroom to have a quick shower. As soon as water touched my bare body, the tiny streams of water felt like they were piercing me with needles.

I changed into a black top with long sleeves and blue jeans. Walking out, I bumped into Soven and fell flat on the ground.

“What’s wrong with you?” I cried as I picked myself off the ground. Flaring agony shot up my hands.

“Let me help y-oh my god!” he gasped as soon the sleeve dropped back.

Exposing the pale skin beneath.

And the long raw gash.

I stared at it blearily.

What?

And when your hope crashes down, shattering to the ground, you feel all alone.

When you don’t know which way to go, and there’s no signs leading you home

You’re not alone.

“You should spend more time with her, the both of you.”

“But she has anger issues!”

“Have you tried putting yourself in her shoes, Marellyn? Do you know what is like to live in someone else? Those years have traumatised her greatly and because of that, she has emotional issues.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

The conversation inside were dropping into murmurs. I glanced at the bandage wrapped tightly around my left wrist. When had I cut myself?

Awake. Sleep. Picking up—

No. Impossible.

—something glinting….silver…–

Not true.

—on the skin…sawing away….—

It can’t be true….no…

blood spurting…pain…..blood…all…over….—

NO!

“Aschyris!”

I realised I was breathing heavily. I started to take in deep slow breaths, calming myself down. I looked up into three familiar pairs of eyes watching me worriedly. I felt strong arms steadying my shoulders as my breathing became normal again.

“You okay?” Soven asked, concern filling his voice.

“I don’t need you, go away.” I tried brushing off his arms but his grip was too firm. I tried getting up, but the whole world was strangely tilting.

“Stop being a fool!” Marellyn said. “With Sacrael gone for a mission, we are in-charge of you. And this means taking care of you. So quit being so macho!”

I was too dizzy to retort back.

They spent more time with me since then. Nursing my wrist, assisting me in my studies and keeping me up with training were examples of my daily life with them.

Gradually, I became accustomed with daylight and the day came when I was able to step, unafraid, into the warm embrace of the sun.

The first thought I had: hot. It was so warm, so…soothing. Immediately everything dark had been swept away by a roaring fire that dispelled any sign of black. I closed my eyes and tilted my head upwards, taking in the sounds and smells.

Birds chirping, leaves rustling and the wind whooshing around me, as if to welcome me into their bright world. I opened my eyes and enjoyed the sights of a rainbow-coloured world. It was so beautiful.

But then I realised, it already was a long time ago. Beside me were Soven and Marellyn, smiling down on me as for the first time, I laughed.

The world comes to life and everything’s bright, from beginning to end.
When you have a friend by your side, that helps you to find the beauty you are 
When you’ll open your heart and believe in, when you believe in….
When you believe in the gift of a friend.

And I believed.

“Aschyris?” Marellyn and Soven came up behind me. Again with the concern. But this time, it felt normal.

No rage. No anger. No trace of irritation.

I met their gazes and considered something that I should have done a long time ago. I paused, and gave them the brightest smile I could manage.

“It’s Ash.”

MOODOO–

Aira: Even though I teased you about your height, I was really amazed by your skills with technology. Your drawings were so cute too. I am so sorry Alina keeps coming after you and all that, but it’s really quite an amusing show. Anyway, she’s after Denise now, so DON’T WORRY.

“Someone who knows when you’re lost and you’re scared…”

Chan Qing: I have always envied your talented hands. As I sat beside you and watched as you drew and coloured, that was what inspired me to draw a dedication for Moodoo, but sadly I failed. Don’t be so emotional all the time. We are your friends, so if you got anything sad, don’t bottle it up. Tell us, because friends are here to help you.

“Through the highs and the lows…”

Nadine: Don’t dislike you hair or hate it. I really love its ‘poofiness’ because it makes you look mature. Out of all of us, you actually look like an adult when you dress up. And your colourings are nice, especially the curtains you coloured with Copics. You are a great debater, and I hope you’ll become my lawyer next time! I am serious, okay! Don’t give up on your dreams!

That helps you to find the beauty you are…”

Leanne: With talents of both Chan Qing and Nadine, I think you draw nice. Compared to me, which is total utter rubbish. Sometimes, I kind of find you unpredictable, but now I know where you are. The Emotions. Our Feelings. And the inevitable is coming soon right? You’ll be leaving us and go back to Australia, aren’t you? To return to your friends…I know how it feels like to be separated from them. I had a friend who died from a disease when we were 6….Ah well, time flies. Don’t forget us, okay?

“Beside you where ever you go…”

Denise: Hello, little clown! One thing that I’ll miss is your super cute weirdness. And your machine-gun laughter. It’s seriously epic. Your Math and Science are exceptionally good, so I’ll steal some of your knowledge! (Joking…) You could be an aeromancer, you know, because of your speed…ANYWAY. I think you’ll be going to one of the good classes because of your geniusness. KEEP STUDYING HARD.

But it’s harder to walk on your own…”

I love you guys so much.

I’ll miss you all.

Thank you for standing up for me during hard and difficult times. I’m sorry for being annoying and whatever I did that upset you a lot. I am sorry.

Let’s make the rest of our time memorable, okay?

~aschyris

7/10/2011

10:57pm

NaNoWriMo 2011

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I am going to compete in a National writing competition called National Novel Writing Month which will begin next month, 1st November. I am supposed to post a chapter a day until I at least hit the minimum 50,000 words. It’s really tedious, because within 30 days I should have 30 chapters or less that have 1700 words.

I am hoping that my novel, Forgotten, will help me remain focus throughout the period of time, because I am sure my parents will bring me out and I won’t have enough time to complete everything. So I am going to commit my whole after exam time to my novel, before I lose interest in it. I have everything planned out nicely on Evernote, and I can’t let it go to waste.

This is the link to the blog for all my chapters: http://www.anotherforgotten.wordpress.com

It has always been my dream to be recognised as an authoress, and I am slowly climbing my way up with the recent Silver award for my Commonwealth Essay.

I hope everyone of you will support me. I am sorry, Moodoo, for that means I won’t be able to go Universal Studios Singapore with you guys. I hate to sacrifice it, unless CT was able to get tickets, but since Wing said she was unable to, then I’ll have to forgo it and go with you guys next year.

This means a lot to me, and I hope you guys will understand. I’ll be sad I’m missing out on all the fun stuff, but I promise to go walling with you all during the holidays. And probably crash at someone’s house and game.

To God/Almighty One up there:

Please, don’t let our friendship end. I love them as my second family. Don’t tear me away from them.

Please.