today my tuesday’s thesis
blinks unproductively from the Word screen
writing about the Mother self and
the Monstrous other.
The nightmare that is the Babadook
who creeps audiences out not by his look
but by all the life he took.
I write how the Monster is the Mother
and the Mother is the Monster
live, breathe under the same roof–
and her son
slays the invisible monster
but the longer the pages spread
the words dim from my head
like every letter I ever made
and that unlikely, impossible A grade.
because the monster isn’t in the mother.
the monster i write
is in my head
on that rainy saturday
my aunt asks
“do you think it’s cruel
to send the dog to sleep?”
she’s a tiny thing:
tinier eyes with a tinier heart
but my cousin recognises
the tiniest spark of conscience
in her question.
“well, you have to see then,” she begins.
“Can the dog find love here?”
And I wonder,
their four-room corner unit
their house big enough for two grandchildren
two fish tanks,
a wide kitchen, a tall fridge,
shackles the dog to where he smells,
but cannot eat;
steel-grated windows, a door beyond his reach
he hears but cannot speak
he sleeps but cannot dream.
his legs tremble,
as if a newborn baby learning
to walk on his weakened limbs
but he is old
he cannot be born
for a trip to the United Kingdom
to live with their daughters
and their children.
another rainy saturday
where one storm ceases, another seizes.
i’d say raining cats and dogs,
but the dogs are no more.
A/N: They used to have two dogs. Both are gone now.
i do not seek
neither do i seek
i do not seek your truth
for you do not seek mine.
and i do not seek love,
for love seeks hate.
so forsake me
for my sake.
when you look up and see the stars tonight
blink back your tears, hold your tiny heart.
The fathomless night guards your sleep.
The stars watch you from afar;
apart yet a part.
when you stared up at those loud florescent lights
why wonder, why despair?
your eyes are his, and his are yours.
when you see them in the skies tonight
do not be afraid to cry
it’s time to say goodbye.
you ask me:
why don’t we get along?
why can’t I compromise
why can’t I understand you?
I(have you taken a look in the mirror lately)
am (why do you manipulate everything to be my fault)
sorry (for not being what you want me to be.)
if you’re so concerned:
take my life. be done with it.
i called you. your number isn’t in service anymore. our connection has been burnt to ashes.